


For The Shame Of Love

by baeberiibungh



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Blood, Blood Drinking, Body Horror, Bruises, Cannibalism, Choking, Cuts, Dreams, Fighting, Gore, M/M, Masochism, Masochistic Personality, Physical Abuse, Post Season 3, Self Cannibalism, Self Introspection, Very little dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 03:01:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4903003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeberiibungh/pseuds/baeberiibungh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will now knows who and what Hannibal is and loves him still...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It has been 6 months since the cliff incident, saved at the last instant by a passing boat that saw them topple under moonlight. Now they were living in a small house with simple charms in the middle of a crowded city and trying to live a life. Will had taken over to reading old cases and try to find out the culprit without being at the crime scene, as he could no longer bear to hear about things going on today or look at news for he often saw signs of Hannibal there. It used to send him into a tizzy, breaking things and screaming at him. But he never left, as free he was to walk away without any visible shackles. 

They would make love, have sex, fuck hard depending on what either was feeling. Embraced in the wicked and cold arms of Hannibal, Will would be unable to sleep and feel himself tethering over the edge of yet another cliff, much higher where he could simply fall into darkness but he held on, for the sake of his dignity, for the bits of self esteem he still had in the corners of his souls. Many a days he would cry himself to sleep, his heart clenched in hurt over the fact that he loved Hannibal so much and couldn’t seem to do anything about it. It just was a fact of his life now.

They got into fights as well. Fights where one would try to kill the other and then ease off before the final blow. Will started those most, as Hannibal would nicely set dinner plates before him that contained parts of human, Will was sure. Hannibal assured him repeatedly that he would never feed Will human again against his wishes, but Will was Will so he knew almost always knew what he was serving. He ended up eating it so much that he could discern the taste of it even masked by the clever sauces and techniques that Hannibal used.

Fighting in the kitchen was a given any week. One day Hannibal stepped into it and had had to immediately jump away from the knife that Will was brandishing in hands that were steady. His face was red and his eyes puffed. Hannibal tried to disarm him without too much injury, but by the time it ended, Will’s hands were bloody from the many nicks given by the knife and he was sprouting a bruised neck where Hannibal had tried to choke him. His left eye was shut off as well, the skin around it broken and bleeding a bit.

Hannibal’s vest was torn off as was one of his sleeves that was saturated with blood from the long gash on his forearm. He pulled Will into his lap while he sat near the dining table, and just held him while Will tried to burrow into his shoulder, smearing blood from his bleeding lips over Hannibal’s torn suit. He lay across Hannibal’s lap like a small child, his head on Hannibal’s shoulder and let slip fat tear drops from his eyes which hurt. Hannibal shushed him and rubbed his back every now and then kissed him, tasting each other’s blood and biting Will’s lips for some more. 

“Why do you still fight, my love? Is it not over? Has your heart not decided? Must you fight yourself to fight me again and again? Do you like it that much for me to hurt you?” asked Hannibal in between kisses, exasperation in his tone as he held Will close to him.

“That is the only way I will survive. Fight you again and again or kill myself. And I don’t want to die by my hands,” Will whispered back.

“As opposed to be killed by my hands?” asked Hannibal bemusedly. Will only turned his head more into Hannibal’s shoulder, liking how his lips, which has started to scab over, had broken again and was dripping blood into his suit and his own bloody mouth. Will was not a romantic as Hannibal, he knew how thing will inevitably end. Both were stubborn enough, have survived through complicated lives, that the proper sacrifice now would be actually to live through the rest of it. If either one dies, the other will survive, just not as whole beings.

Will knew that the fact that pushed him the most was how ashamed and horrified he was about the fact that he loved Hannibal, irrevocably so. That his messed up brain, so good at hunting out criminals and patterns and evil among human, decided to land on Hannibal of all the people of the world. Made him think that perhaps all these years, when he had been convinced he was helping people, was just looking for the correct level of evil to suffocate himself in. That he was built specifically, in the foundations of his jumbled psyche, just to love Hannibal, because he was all Will couldn’t be. That it was, simply and truly, inevitable.

Will stood up, and pulled Hannibal with him to the bathroom where they will take care of their cuts and injuries as they were wont to, and then head to the bed, where they will try to devour each other. Will felt a little better after such fights, while he was covered in blots of pain, as if he had given enough to the universe to enjoy his life for a bit. Will knew how it looked like, had read enough about the perspective of battered people to not realise how masochistic he was being, but seeing how he was in love with Hannibal, it was a given.


	2. Chapter 2

Will is suddenly aware that his mouth is filling up slowly with blood - he tries to gulp it down to breathe and it goes down easy. He looks around and sees it is the kitchen, late evening or dawn, the blinds drawn tight but smidgen of light sipping through, the lamps in the drawing room sending some more light. He is not wearing anything, and has been laid on the counter bare naked. There is a sheet below him, crinkling as he moves his legs up and down. His whole body is a mass of pain, concentrated in his chest and his dick. 

Will looks down and has to take a steady breath at what he sees. His chest has been cut and his ribs pushed back so that he was seeing into his own working body that kept dribbling sluggishly. Hannibal, standing hear him, was drinking from a wine glass. It was black and the way it clung to Hannibal’s expressive lips, Will knew that Hannibal was drinking Will’s blood. He looked at his groin and a harsh gasp escaped his mouth. It was standing proud and hard, missing a quarter of its flesh in a long stripe and was shooting up little fountain of blood every time he took a deep breath. 

Will lay his head down and nuzzled into Hannibal’s hands, who had been rubbing his whole body, trying to perhaps saturate his skin with his own blood. He pulled up Will’s head, making him cry out in the sudden increase in pain, tears flowing freely, and once he got his breath back, Hannibal made him sip the blood in his glass. It was metallic, acrid and sweet, with an under taste of something medicinal, something Hannibal must have used to make the blood not congealed as usual. 

After making sure that Will drank his sip, he put the glass down and picked up his knife and fork again. His hand hovered over his open chest, before stabbing his knife in something that made Will almost seize up in pain. Hannibal simply cut something out, a sliver really from what Will saw and put it into his mouth and started to chew. A look of utter bliss passed his face as if he were partaking some gourmet dish and was actually lucky to have had the chance. He cut off another small piece and Will whimpered. Throughout his dick remained hard, a few pull away from coming. 

Hannibal put the new piece before Will’s mouth, who looked up into Hannibal’s eyes and saw only love there, for this was the only way Hannibal knew how to love to. He opened his mouth and started chewing something that was slimy and quite frankly too raw to even digest. But he kept on chewing nonetheless, and after he had swallowed, Hannibal bent over him and gave him an open mouthed passionate kiss, half licking the blood covering his face and Will kissed back, unable to not give in. That is when Hannibal clamped on his lower lip and pulled a chunk out of it.

Will woke up with a cry and flailing limbs, his chest heaving. Hannibal was sleeping beside him, his hands looping around him in easy slumber. He looked towards his chest, which was decidedly still very much intact. He picks up the sheet covering his waist and looks down and grimaces. He actually came in his pants, like a teenager, because Hannibal chewed his lips off in his dream. Will gave a sight and then got down from the bed. Hannibal made a displeased sound and rolled over to be in the space Will had just vacated.

Will gave another sigh and went to the bathroom to clean up. In the harsh light there, the bruised and marks stood brightly against his skin. His throat still hurt to use. So he had a drink from the tap. He rubbed his scalp, pulled his curls awhile and then headed back to the bed. He could still remember the dream, and it stirred no fear in him. If Hannibal were to ever do the ending like this, Will suppose he will fight but in the end he too will kiss with his bloodied lips. 

He slipped into the bed and Hannibal pulled him into his chest. He was still mostly asleep. Will looked at him and said, “I wished I did not love you. You do not really deserve it.” Will then shuffled even closer and gave a chaste kiss to Hannibal’s lips and tried to go back to sleep. Beside him, Hannibal smiled at his burrowed head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbetaed. Officially complete. find me at evermoringlyfine.

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed. This may have another part later on, but for now its complete. Comments and kudos are much appreciated.
> 
> Edit: ok wow i just noticed this is my longest hannigram fic. yay.


End file.
